Winter and July or What’s Up With That?

Winter in July or What’s Up With That?

(I mean no disrespect to any of my readers who are afflicted or know someone afflicted with any of the diseases or disorders I mentioned below.)

What’s up with that?

It is almost July in Montana.  You’ve heard me say this so often I am reluctant to say it again.  We have two seasons in Montana, Winter and July.  It isn’t July but it is 83 and I my phone says it should get as hot as 93.  Remember when phones were for calling people?

We are used to layer our clothing and taking off or adding more layers as the day wears on.  I keep our thermostat at 60 throughout the winter, 65 during the day, and did I say it is hot?  Okay, I’m staying inside, much as I would if it were 23 and windy.  I’ve pulled the front window blinds down and closed the doors.

This leads me to the next topic.

What’s Up With That?

(Caution the end of this post is not something you should try at home.  I am not in any way saying you should take up the challange.)

Watching tv is effecting my physical and mental health.

Now, I am wondering if I pee too often?  Do I have overactive bladder?

Does my husband have Low T?  Should he be slathering something on his armpit?

Do I really need foundation with cartoon springs inside the bottle and is my hair seriously in need of feeding?  I thought hair was pretty much dead as it emerged from my scalp.

And sex in a bathtub?  Have you tried it?  Seems pretty cold, hard and awkward to me.  What if I am overwhelmed by the urge to pee or my husband suddenly exclaims he needs to hop out real quick and apply some juice?

Do I have lupus?

Could I have fibromyalgia?

Do I need smokeless, nicotine-free electronic cigarettes to look cool?

Am I depressed?  Could that be why my bones hurt all the time and I get crabby?

Should I take a chainsaw to the diet aisle like the skinny women in the South Beach ad are doing?

I’m starting to feel a little woozy as I’m typing this, so I’ll end this post with sage advice.

No matter what ails you don’t do the the trendy dare that has to do with condoms being sniffed up your nose.  And don’t touch anything sharp!