Life is a Story


Tell it Big

Toilet Training

Our family made a ‘Thank-ful Tree.’ We cut out construction paper leaves and print our ‘thank-ful fors’ and glue them on the paper.

The simple and predictable things like family and toys and boyfriends are up there. My favorite contribution to the tree is indoor pluming.

Anyone who has ever camped out in anything near wilderness has appreciated modern toilets. Anyone using an outhouse in mid summer fighting smells and flies for the crude arrangement of a ring and drafty pit are certain to prefer the invention of indoor restrooms.  I am not even going to tell you about how it feels to stick to frozen urine like a tongue on a flag pole in mid winter.

Today, I was watching television and it was suggested as a health tip to stand up from the toilet before you flush it. I was astonished. Are there really people who contort to the handle situated behind their shoulder and give the thing a flip before standing up, pulling up, slamming the lid down and sanitizing before flushing and rushing head long toward the door?

I won’t even leave my toothbrush exposed in there. The thought of a family’s worth of toothbrushes in a communal rinsing cup on the bathroom sink edge is enough to give me nightmares.

Here is my recondemnation to any of you who are at risk of giving your nether-regions a swirly, take care to finish the job before you flush. Always slam the lid down and never stay in the room with the atomised bacteria humidifying the air. If you have left your toothbrush exposed, throw it away.

Till next time, leave a comment, or not, I’ll be back soon with another topic.


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