What will my darling husband do without an answer to the question, “Where are we going?” And the stress of making arrangements might be too much for him. I don’t want a double funeral.
I have novels, short stories and articles stashed everywhere, one novel at the bank in the safety deposit box, another hidden in the breezeway and if they read that one I’d better be dead. The short stories are in file boxes and various hard drives. I don’t expect them to become good, like paintings do, just because I stopped being. I don’t even expect them to be read.
I have three, maybe four, manuscripts in the computer and short stories over in the black plastic file box.
What about the paperbacks and hardcovers, some of them signed, that I have gathered over time, on the shelves, in stacks, in this pile and that?
Shoot, my paintings, some of those are hidden as well. There is just no way I can cross over and look in on the dreadful task of sorting though my stuff.
The turtle and cat and dog will probably stay here in the care of my son. The plants, my son. Jewelry, now that, my daughter and granddaughter can fight over.
I do want to be at my own funeral and I’d like to be ‘green’ if at all possible.
No Johny Cash songs or tired out hymns should be played on the tacky sound system at our local mortuary. I want a few chants led by someone of the newer age leanings. A real, traditional, no fluff, wise woman should lead the service.
If anyone begins to admire me I will rise up out of my box and scare the bejeebers out of them. I never meant to inspire people, I just wanted to be like everyone else.
If I do cross unexpectedly, you can bet I am going to be really angry. I eat right, I stay thin, I go to the gym, I treat my high blood pressure and I am not ready to abandon any control I have, real or imagined.
The number of deaths during the last days of June are what brought me to this topic.
Some of the recently departed were ill and others seem to have spontaneously burned out. The celebrity waiting room on the other side has been backed up busy.
I am walking a fine line of life and death, have I done anything to take the edge off the confusion that I would leave behind? Nope.
There are planning kits at mortuarys so people can pre-plan their services and I suppose wills are easy to make.
Just a note or two about who gets what will go a long way. I should take my list of passwords to the safety deposit box and remember to update them. I should probably put a note in there with them, just in case.
One thing my family does know is that they should get a second opinion from a person with a disability before pulling the plug or standing on my air hose. And for goodness sake, let a little grass grow over me before you start going through my stuff!
Thanks Robin Cain for encouraging me to go ahead and post this entry. Now, I have to gather up passwords and take them to the bank. I’ll put a note in there for the doctor, “I told you I was sick.”