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Germ Corpses Stacking Up On Your Space Key

By now, 99.99% of America has seen the cleaning sprays, disinfectants, soaps and wet wipes that kill 99.99% of germs. I wonder, and so do you, what terrible things might that left over .01% of germs do if they organize and take over America’s homes.

I have an even bigger wonder. Those products may kill a germ but what happens to it after it is dead? There are thousands, millions, maybe more, dead germ corpses just lying about. They are everywhere, the counters, the door knobs, kitchen counters, the flush handle on your toilet and the creepy little dead bodies are piled up deep on your space key right there beneath your thumbs!

A defining moment came to me as a child when I learned about microscopic creatures living in the woodwork of our family’s house. What is worse is the tiny little bugs living at the base of our eyelashes. Both are potential blog topics. I could very well have become a compulsive hand washer, but I had other things to obsess over, like growing up, graduating from high school and choosing a hair color.

A great turning point for me is to focus on the dead germs and wonder when someone will invent a microscopic dustpan to contain them. When I turn to my antiseptic sprays and contact lens cleaners I want to believe the advertisements aren’t showing us the little cartoon germ corpses because they disappear into a tiny germ mortuary and the little germ funeral directors take them quietly away.

If anyone out there knows what really happens to the 99.99% of the really dead germ bodies, make a comment. Share your vast knowledge of the afterlife and funeral planning for the very tiny. What happens during that defining moment when I choose to disinfect my cell phone? What is the destiny of a germ who submits to a shot of mouthwash? What happens to that lucky one who survives to see his friends mass murdered? Grief Therapy perhaps?

Comments

4 responses to “Germ Corpses Stacking Up On Your Space Key”

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  2. Audrey Shaffer Avatar
    Audrey Shaffer

    Isn’t that what dust is? Dead germ bodies?

    1. Sally Avatar

      Oh, now Audrey, you are freakin’ me out!

  3. Nima Avatar
    Nima

    I especially like that you’re one of the few people who clean their cell phones 🙂
    Yeah, what is it about that that .01% of germs that no one can kill?

    Want to know what the lucky ones do after they survive?…My guess is they celebrate, then procreate! Multiply by drawing on anything they come in contact with to rebuild their colonies. The more stuff around them, the easier and quicker it is to rebuild their colony to a harmful level (i.e. to a level where you may get a zit from using a dirty cell phone for a 20 minute call).

    That’s why we wash our hands, or clean our cell phones regularly.

    An ongoing battle between humans and germs continues. We usually try our best to minimize their harm, never ‘wiping’ them out entirely.