This is going to be a rant about day to day uses of English.
Call me crabby.
No, don’t call me that, images of a thousand tiny dependants running about those nether regions is not what I really want to be called.
Call me crotchety.
I can’t believe my spellchecker sees that as a real word. But this brings out the images above, yet again. Don’t call me crotchety.
Call me anything you want, just don’t say it out loud…
What has me all bunched up?
I hear it on news interviews, court shows, sometimes even in the newspaper and from the real humans in my life.
- “The agreement was between me and her.”
- “I bought this at the store and it only costed five dollars.”
- “I was out on the back porch when I seen this guy come rollin’ up on my neighbor’s grill.” I can handle the slang here but the word ‘seen’ in the wrong context drives me right into the zone some people would call the scratching on the chalk board sound.
I have been known to ask my DH what his first language might have been. I know, I am not a nice person when the chalkboard emits a shrieking sound. He also makes noise when he eats, it is like being in a hardware store rifling through the nail drawer, but that is off topic. And this inability to listen to eating sounds is a real syndrome.
Sigh. Most of these English Offenders are American born and this is their first language. Folks like the ELI Students from long ago spoke very good English. Idioms, however, kept them stumped for more than a semester.
So, who teaches people how to use basic English?
First off, nannys, daycare workers and parents teach them. Siblings also teach them.
- Dan, aged 3, “Eat it up. Drink it up. Sarah said so at Poppy’s house.” This quote resurfaced a lot during those days of post toddlerhood.
- “Shi t Weasel,” my granddaughter used to say. I taught her that because it was just naughty enough to make us laugh. She has apraxia of speech and back then if she said anything at all we had a party.
We through (throw)money at our schools like candy at a parade. More and more and more goes into the schools and our graduates say “It was me and her over at the quick trip.” What do they learn during the advanced placement courses? Who is teaching and insisting on using good, excellent, perfect grammar?
I want to thank you all for hearing me out on this rant about day to day uses of English.
Did you settle on calling me crabby? Crotchety?
Whatever you call me, come back tomorrow for Fiction Friday and don’t touch anything sharp!
Comments
4 responses to “This is going to be a rant about day to day uses of English”
First, it is “throw” not “through” but I can deal with that. I just read a short story that was published and the following terms — “a shiver of sharks” and “a shoal of mermaids” which still has me stumped right up there with a poem which had “And he will come a rim.” Totally baffled. When I questioned them I was told by the publisher, “it is refreshing to see authors find new ways to incorporate words into the language.” Uh, yeah, okay, whatever. As to “me and him” — I’ve fought that battle with my four sons for years, correcting them constantly. My youngest is 33 yrs old and when I correct him, he looks at me and says “Like I said, dad, me and him were…” Someone once told me that the English language is merely a mastication of words to be spewed at random. Personally, I think that the word mastication is the wrong verb, I’m thinking of another very similar one with a totally different meaning. It seems, even as we all learn to speak the same language, we are still a Tower of Babel.
Thank you for the correction!
I’ve edited it.
Yikes, I rant like a maniac and make a blunder of my own.
Sally looks at her feet and tries to blend into the floor.
S
Not to be too persnickety, Sally, but you “threw” money at the schools!
I’m only a sub, for the past 10 years at high schools, and I’ll never get hired because administrators think I’m too old. But when the kids ask me, “Can I go to the bathroom?” I give them a serious look and say, “I don’t know…can you? Did Mom or Dad teach you? If yes, then you need to ask me if you MAY use the bathroom.” When they ask the right way, I let them go.
And my biggest peeve in grading papers (I sometimes get paid for that also, but can’t get offered a job of my own for some reason)…is when students write, “I shouldn’t of done that.” ARGH! It’s shouldn’t HAVE, with the H and A left out, hence, shouldn’t’ve…which is visually awkward. So use the whole word, HAVE in writing! I don’t care how you talk, but the written world has rules you need to learn!
Thanks…I feel better now!
Fiona, the certified English teacher, writing specialist, in a world where only reading specialists are valued, and even then not much.
Yes, I did, Fiona… I turned my mistake red and corrected it in ( )…
I homeschooled both of mine who were born 11 years apart. I tried to give them good examples but failed the spelling. I was always the last person called when choosing teams for spell-offs.
I also taught them at least a like if not an absolute love of English Lit.
My biggest goals for them was that they would be able to ‘read to find out’ and ‘read for pleasure.’ I achieved those goals.
Thanks for the reply.
S