Wash Your Hands

     The teachers chanted it, our mothers insisted on it, we would freak out if our doctors didn’t do it.
     This is the first line of defense against MRSA, Colds, Food Poisoning, and the Flu.
     Wash your hands. Good old soap and running water is a great way to do it. Then you have to worry about touching the faucet handle to turn the water off, and then the doorknob.
     My grandson is adorable, irresistible, a toddler. Hands always wet and touching everything. Transferring germs and retrieving germs from any object low enough to come within reach of his little hands and mouth. I have to resist the urge to Clorox wipe him when he toddles through the front door.
     I heard somewhere that fecal matter was found in the finger holes of a bowling ball, human excretions on the seat at the local theater and don’t even get me going on the things left behind on the small shopping baskets at the grocery store.
     Now, we have the new flu, a few days ago it was the Swine Flu but today the government suggested we call it R2D2 or some such thing. The renaming has something to do with the ‘broccoli law’ and defaming of pigs.
     There are lists of symptoms associated with the Outbreak and I have to tell you, if I am afflicted, the doctor’s office is the last place I want to be.
     How can I stay out of the doctor’s office? You won’t find me bowling or sitting naked during a movie, and if you see a woman spraying down a shopping basket, it is probably me.
     Our moms and teachers have a good idea. Wash Your Hands. If you are worried about the door knobs, carry some hand sanitizers that come in pocket sized bottles. Use it after you run your card through the check-out scanner. Use it on your card. Never touch the bottom of your purse. Don’t touch anything. Or at least keep your hands clean.
     Until the Outbreak resolves itself, avoid kissing or shaking hands with strangers. After it goes away, think twice about bowling.
     For more information about protecting yourself from the flu, after you’ve bought your hand sanitizer, the CDC has three steps you can take to fight the flu.

     Leave your tips for avoiding germs.