Fiction Friday – Cannibal Prompt

Fiction Friday a Writing Prompt

I am using a Prompt from A Year of Writing Prompts 365 Story Ideas for Honing Your Craft and Eliminating Writer’s Block by Brian A. Klems and Zachary Petit.  This is a Writer’s Digest book well worth $7.99.

clipart stew pot
Fiction Friday – Cannibal Prompt

From the e-book January 29 entry –

Fine Young Cannibals

You have been captured by cannibals. How do you convince them not to eat you? If that fails how do you attempt to get away?

(I only use one cannibal in my entry)

An ancient woman is stoking a fire in her hearth. She comes back to the counter and begins chopping root vegetables. “How much to you think you weigh, sweetie?”

“You aren’t thinking what I think you’re thinking?”

The old woman plunks a heavy iron pot up on the counter. “You look a bit scrawny, that’s okay though.”

“I am, really, you should try that hen I saw out in the side yard. If you un-truss me, I’ll go get it for you. I’ll even lop her head off with that ax.”

“Nah, I am in the mood for the other ‘white meat.’”

“Then I think in the interest of full self-disclosure I am not just scrawny, I am bitter. Really, I am a mean evil, bitter, bitter woman. You don’t want to eat me.”

“Bitter, you say. What kind of bitter?”

“My husband dumped me for a newer model, a real freaking model, blonde, vapid.”

“Go on.”

“My boss said I was out of date, he promoted a kid with pimples to be my supervisor.”

“And?”

“I was out for an afternoon hobble when you offered me tea and cookies. When I came inside you knocked me silly, trussed me up and now it looks like I’m going to be the main entrée at a dinner for one.”

The woman snatched up the knife she’d put down while I was pleading my case. She leaned over me.

“That’s it girlie, I’m cutting you lose.”

“What? Why?”
“Just go, and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

I almost ran back to my apartment. Sure I wasn’t dinner tonight, but now I know I am not even good enough to eat. There should be some comfort in this ending but all I want to do tonight is marinate in a bottle of red wine.

Then End…

Don’t touch anything sharp.

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By Sally

Sally Franklin Christie Blogger and Author of If I Should Die and Milk Carton People.